10 minutes of peace please...

On the only weeknight where this Momma of 4 and no more gets to come home after teaching kids all day it is no surprise I had a few expectations in mind. My day while sprinkled with pleasant positive moments also held many frustrating roll with the punches kind of challenges too. These days hubby enjoys (or is reduced too) taking care of the household tasks like cleaning and cooking coupled with a large amount of projects set aside for such a time as this. Meanwhile I have switch roles and work 3 more than part time jobs. This is a mixed blessing because while, letting go of my supermom cape difficult often and a relief sometimes has been required. My #3 seems to be taking it the worst and I am for certain working on rectifying that with other quality moments, yet day-to-day leaves him a bit left out.

This night was another one of those opportunities when I had to choose between seeing the boys or letting Daddy do the chauffeur job and I took the girls home. As much as I longed to snuggle with my most chivalrous son I relented to the evening at home being the best option overall. Upon arrival littlest retrieved the puppy on loan from G next door and I arranged for cheese bread cooking via oldest daughter. As I donned by running clothes and Ipod the garage door opened. A loud "BANG" startled me into awareness just as I heard the words, "Mommy come quick Dottie is hurt!". A deep sigh and instant rushing the door we head to the baby dog together. There she is lying in the grass a slight whimper can be heard. I scoop her up and spend the next 7 minutes coaxing a description of just what happened out of the nervous curly haired beauty. She is passionate about her many, many answers that dodge the real deal. Yet finally, patiently I manage to determine that while carrying her the wiggly fur ball she fell jumped loose and landed on the rocks/ground. As Dottie attempted to still play she limped too and I decided to take her home so MAYBE just maybe I would actually get my run in.

Chaos averted kinda I was off for my alone time. Now you must understand that this time is something that I spend 1/2 to 1/3 of arguing all the reasons why I simply cannot continue taking any further strides and how I will let down my dear friend when I run the upcoming 5K. Ridiculous as this sounds it is the truth of my thought process. Today though, beautiful today as the sky turns a deeper shade of black with an impending doom of storms I hear from God. I am reminded that the topic of study with my Flight (Gifted) kids is the Olympics. If you look up the creed of the Olympics you will see it is that the most important thing is NOT to win but to take part. Perhaps this is why it had such an integral role in my Summer. I was drawn to it, inspired by it and quite frankly consumed as a whole. Dear God, how did I miss this? My revelation makes me smile and forget that I am in fact exude any energy at all.

The most important thing is to take part, NOT win.
I do NOT need to be Supermom, wife, teacher, dispatcher, wife, preschool coordinator or friend. I only need to walk in the footsteps God has called me meeting HIS expectations of me which are not a comparison of ANYONE I know!! WOW! Finally, I make it back to my doorstep and enter into a uneventful household. Littlest is lying in my bed quite possibly still traumatized by the puppy harming moments stating she is sick and needs the before mentioned creature to snuggle with her and make her feel better. Reassuring her I will retrieve the fluffy friend just after I take a shower. I used the term shower hoping that this would not induce a visit from her. We no longer have party in the shower together moments these days. BUT well, the running of a bath sounds extremely different than the shower and if wonders never cease the door creaked open seconds after the faucet turned on. Negotiations begin to little avail and I get in anyway. Under my breath I murmur, "10 minutes, just give me 10 minutes please."

Attempt #1 send her on an errand. She is stealth like and arrives almost as fast as she left. Next I inform that she can in fact take a bath but AFTER I get out. Adding a multi step direction of pj's, toys, pink girly soap and more ALL located elsewhere gives me about 2 minutes at most. Determined to never give in a quickly start the book Sun Stand Still by Steven Furtick. He writes about audacious faith. Audacious being a word I know but am grateful he defines. In just 2 minutes I am inspired and perturbed because OF COURSE a little person is back. Her little hands splashing in my tepid bath water. I ask her to turn the tv in my room off. I tell her to visit her sister and see what she is watching. I remind her to close the door which remains closed for mere seconds anyway. I holler for her to turn the tv down and off which keeps coming back on. We go back and forth in the trial of Mommy time. Big sister appears and ask if she can take a bath. Seriously child you are 9 1/2!! Last I checked she has been running her own baths for YEARS! UGH!

Trying, Lord really I was trying to withhold my frustration with her but like a teapot filled with water on a hot stove the bubbling had begun. I raised my voice and sternly repeated, "I want 10 minutes ALONE, now!" Although I didn't yell she knew my tone. Long silence and direct eye contact in a wage of war she said nothing but spoke VOLUMES!

In my head I was chanting, I am the mom I can stay calm. I am the mom I CAN stay calm. Firecracker that she is KNEW I wasn't about to escort her from the room. But I also didn't have to entertain her presence. Taking the book in my dry hand I raised it to a comfortable level, scooted myself to a comfortable position for my neck and read. I read, and reread the 8 pages in the first chapter but nevertheless I read it. 6 pages in, splashes, chatter, and more she exits. YES! 1 Page from completion and the phone rings. I lay motionless awaiting the inevitable. Loud thumping of footsteps are felt are heard. The words, "Mommy is in the shower but I will check if she is done," cause me to set the book down safe from water and prepare to take the phone. The door opens and she hands it to me. I assure the caller that I am not in the shower (its my mom so  no need to feel inappropriate) and am getting out of the bath anyway.

Mom 0
4 and no more 123,999

Is 10 minutes of quiet really this hard to attain? I suppose I can count 13 years, 10 months, and 26 days until I am an empty nester. Then the quiet rarely ends. Man, that is not very long from now folks. I have been a parent for 12 years and 1 month as I type this right now. Goodness I am halfway there...certainly this puts everything in perspective for sure!!